There is a lot of confusion over whether God communicates directly to us. Many books have been written on the matter. I have no idea how rare it is, but I know He has spoken to me at least once.
Only until recently did I begin to have friends and a social life. And I don't say this in search for pity. This is me being completely honest.
I was alone so-to-speak. I did not socialize because it gave me anxiety and quite frankly, I just wasn't sure how to go about it. In the midst of it, I came upon a boy in class who seemed pretty nice. Before long I began to date him. It was a rather painful relation. He never seemed satisfied with who I was and would pick fights with me about trying to get me to change things about myself. It seemed like there was nothing about me that he was satisfied with and that he wanted to make me into who he wanted me to be. I would cry every other day because it hurt so much. He forced me into doing things that I simply did not want to do. And for that reason, I faltered in my relationship with Christ.
Because I had done some very intimate things with this guy, I felt that I had to stay with him for as long as possible, just because it felt so wrong. While in reality, I knew from the second day that I was not meant to be with this person.
After less than three months, I went online and saw pictures of him doing drugs. I could barely breathe. That's when I began to feel God's presence moving in me faster than ever before. I broke up with the guy as I felt it was right. Then it randomly occurred to me to be more active and I made an immediate decision to attend my church young adult group the next night, which was the strangest thing since I had never even considered going.
I went to the event and I had a rather pleasant time. I felt a peace in being there and something felt right. They were having a summer retreat the next week and were recruiting me to go. I told them I would take a few days to think about it. However, by the next night I knew I was supposed to go on the trip. And I did, and then made some good friends that today are my best friends. God pushed me along the whole way.
Even though I have only felt God so strongly once, it was enough to keep me going for a long time. In that time I truly needed to see God's immediate direction and he delivered. The rest is history and for the future I know he has me covered.
Only until recently did I begin to have friends and a social life. And I don't say this in search for pity. This is me being completely honest.
I was alone so-to-speak. I did not socialize because it gave me anxiety and quite frankly, I just wasn't sure how to go about it. In the midst of it, I came upon a boy in class who seemed pretty nice. Before long I began to date him. It was a rather painful relation. He never seemed satisfied with who I was and would pick fights with me about trying to get me to change things about myself. It seemed like there was nothing about me that he was satisfied with and that he wanted to make me into who he wanted me to be. I would cry every other day because it hurt so much. He forced me into doing things that I simply did not want to do. And for that reason, I faltered in my relationship with Christ.
Because I had done some very intimate things with this guy, I felt that I had to stay with him for as long as possible, just because it felt so wrong. While in reality, I knew from the second day that I was not meant to be with this person.
After less than three months, I went online and saw pictures of him doing drugs. I could barely breathe. That's when I began to feel God's presence moving in me faster than ever before. I broke up with the guy as I felt it was right. Then it randomly occurred to me to be more active and I made an immediate decision to attend my church young adult group the next night, which was the strangest thing since I had never even considered going.
I went to the event and I had a rather pleasant time. I felt a peace in being there and something felt right. They were having a summer retreat the next week and were recruiting me to go. I told them I would take a few days to think about it. However, by the next night I knew I was supposed to go on the trip. And I did, and then made some good friends that today are my best friends. God pushed me along the whole way.
Even though I have only felt God so strongly once, it was enough to keep me going for a long time. In that time I truly needed to see God's immediate direction and he delivered. The rest is history and for the future I know he has me covered.